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Early Memories By Maria Baker I was opened in San Francisco in 1968, and shortly thereafter I abruptly quit my job. My excuse was that I wanted to have a carefree summer with my 5-year-old son before he had to go to real school. I heard about an event at Subud Carmel Valley, so being carefree, we jumped in the car to check it out. There I met Muftiah Weinstein for the first time, and as we were talking I recalled that I had had a dream the night before about living in Joan Baez’s house. Muftiah said, “Well, I guess you’re going to live with us, because we live in Joan Baez’s house.” That was all the impetus I needed to return to San Francisco, pack up, move to Carmel Valley, and do just that. As I found out, Joan had previously owned the Carmel Valley Subud House, where she conducted her Institute for Nonviolence. When I later saw the two-bedroom house behind the main house, it was precisely what I had seen in my dream, so I moved from the Weinstein's Baez house to Subud's Baez house. A few weeks after I moved in, as I was standing in the bedroom, I heard a voice in my right ear say, “Bapak will come through and enter here.” The following year, Carmel Valley hosted Bapak and his party, and indeed, he did come through and enter exactly there, and sleep in that bedroom. - - - - - Human Instincts By Anonymous At the time of the 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami, my son who is a Wildlife Photographer, was in Malaysia doing daily underwater photography of sea turtles. While TV news broadcasts brought the horror of the tsunami disaster into homes across the world, he phoned to say "I'm safe Mum." Apparently that morning when he woke, he'd said to himself : " I think I'll go inland and photograph monkeys today." That intuitive nudge saved his life. - - - - - The One Who Truly Loves You Will Set You Free – Rumi By Chairani Gregson When I realised that there are people who truly love me - No Strings Attached- that is when I also realised I don’t have to hang on to hurt anymore. I have a safe haven that I can run to in my feelings and know I don’t have to fight back anymore. This took me years to realise. The more I love the more I feel loved. The more I find out about the spiritual,the more I know I have a long way to go. I seem to become smaller and smaller. But I do know that Spiritual Love is forever and from my own experience, it just slowly melts away the hurt and everything that goes with it. It seems there is such beauty in God’s Realm, like a precious Sparkling Diamond that becomes brighter and brighter. And I know that Bapak’s Love is Eternal and sometimes when I read his words, I feel I am on the precipice of change. -Simply Wondrous- - - - - - Man, Woman, Child, Dog By Anonymous The following writing is about experiences that I have had during the Latihan. I did not ‘try’ or ask for any of the experiences, they simply happened. For me, they show a glimpse of other levels, that we are privileged enough to be made aware of, when we are in Subud. Man I have a male work colleague, who I frequently work quite closely with on various projects. He is not in Subud but is very religious, and is happily married with several children. The nature of his personal circumstances, mean that he is often under an extreme amount of pressure. He needs to live separately from his family to be able to earn a living, so this is very hard for him. On one occasion, one of his children was very unwell, but he was not able to travel to be with him and help look after him. On top of that he was under a lot of pressure from work. During that time, I did the Latihan one evening, and felt that I was with him. I could feel his mind, and all of the pressure he was under, and how heavy it was for him. It only lasted for a couple of minutes, but it gave me a greater appreciation of how privileged we are to have the Latihan to help us with our lives. It has also help me to have a greater understanding and more empathy for my colleague and his struggles; I cannot imagine being in his position, and not having the Latihan to help me. Woman I have a friend, I have known her for a long time. She is not in Subud but we are close. Some years ago, her and her partner were trying to get pregnant, but things were difficult for them and it just wasn’t happening. It was affecting her badly, she would often cry about it, and it was on her mind a lot of the time. Then I had a dream, my friend was sitting on a sofa, and I was stood behind her. I could see she was reading a book all about families and children. I reached out and took the book from her, and immediately she laid down to sleep and I stroked her head. That was the end of the dream. Some weeks later, she found out she was pregnant, and happily all went well with the pregnancy. When it became time for her to deliver, the baby was a little bit late, but it was not overly concerning. However, in my Latihan one evening, I found myself doing movements with my hands, in a kind of opening and flowing way. The next morning, I found out my friend had gone into labour the previous night, and had given birth to a healthy baby girl. Child A couple of years ago, when my niece was around 3 years old, she became ill with a chest infection. It became progressively worse and one evening her parents had to take her to the hospital. Around the same time, I did the Latihan, and suddenly I felt the illness of my niece, in my chest, and it felt very congested. As the Latihan continued, it felt like I was lifting the illness from her. The next day, she was able to leave the hospital, and she recovered fully. Dog The work I do involves extended periods of travel away from home, but I have a dog and so when I am working away my parents look after him for me. I miss him a lot when I am away, but I always keep in touch with my parents and they send me photos of how he is doing. On one occasion while I was away, he became ill with a kennel cough type of infection. He is now quite an elderly dog, and so in his case the infection was serious and the cough was not responding to the vets treatment. It was hard being away from him whilst he was so unwell, however early one Saturday morning I was doing the Latihan, and I could feel that I was with him. I was stroking him and talking to him, but on a spiritual level, and again I had the feeling of lifting the illness. It was a really nice Latihan and completely unexpected, and I felt very grateful for it. Thankfully a few days later, my dog made a full recovery. - - - - - God is my Compass By Anonymous Certain kinds of risks, taken all the time, were necessary for me to stay alive in my early years; and in following inner guidance when young, before Subud, I used to make choices depending upon which choice associated itself with an inner light. At the time, I liked Marcel Marceau's quotes about designing his pantomimes as white ink drawings on a black background - 'where man's destiny appears like a thread lost in an endless labyrinth' .. That is indeed how I saw life in youth, and when I met and spoke with Marcel Marceau once, he kissed my cheek. Even after I was opened at age 24, for many years I felt as if I walked a slender thread above a chasm where one wrong choice or mistake would cost me all, both physically and spiritually. One of the Bapak quotes that I appreciated in my early years in Subud was: "The price of one false move in the latihan is death.“ In my very early years in Subud, this rather terrifying and stressful manner of survival was gradually worked on and changed -- as my being was taken apart completely, and I had to totally relearn everything in life from scratch: how to trust GOD - to move, to speak, how to walk/behave, how to be among others... Some of this - especially learning to trust others again, still goes on. Concerning learning trust in GOD -- Having an adventurous spirit, I loved exploring the world, but have never been physically strong or had many resources. My courage would lead me to start a venture I felt guided to, and I'd trust GOD to see me through. I found the International Subud community to be a MIRACLE: just the fact that people from widely diverse backgrounds and cultures all worship together and help each other, based solely on being open in Subud, has always been amazing! In this earlier period of my Subud life, I had many adventures, while visiting around 40 countries and broadening my horizons. This feeling to travel the world arose soon after I was opened. I actually found it exhilarating - the whole experience of taking a leap of faith into the unknown and trusting GOD to catch me, almost as a child leaps into a parent’s arms in trust. As we know, we all receive guidance in seemingly infinitely individual and varied ways. I’ll give three examples of how I was moved from within to move from one step to the next - always seeking to follow what was inwardly asked of me … and, in the midst of many adventures, my guidance was a compass that led me into making lifelong friendships, for which I am extremely grateful. My spiritual progress is truly known, of course, only to GOD. At the World Congress at Anugraha, I clearly received through testing to go to Australia, and so I traded in my return ticket to the USA for one to Oz. I arrived in Australia with $100 in my pocket, and by working first at a social enterprise and later at an Australian business, I managed. I grew quite fond of the “No worries, mate - it’ll be alright” spirit prevalent in Australia at the time.. As I traveled about, my guidance and destiny did indeed bring me face to face with Bapak, and eventually took me often to Indonesia, where our beloved Ibu Rahayu kindly took me under her wing, and still does. And thus have I been able to find a place in Subud. Another occasion of receiving the next step: I was on a plane returning to the United States after months spent in Scotland, and as I sat in my window seat a map of the United States arose in my consciousness and golden glimmering lights appeared over one location on the map, where I had never been but where I knew there was a Subud group. That is where I moved, almost immediately, and it was quite a good experience, as that turned out to be a reasonably loving and accepting Subud group. Another time, I was inwardly told to move to a certain place, but I was terrified to move there. One day I sat in a great Cathedral in deep, deep quiet for three hours, during which time I was inwardly questioned regarding the important reason I was to go there; and would I give up this, and be willing to do that? I must have passed the sincerity test, for I did subsequently find the courage and inner impetus and outer means to go there. As always, with GOD's guidance, work was provided and relationships were provided. Contrary to my prior expectations, the guidance was correct. It proved to be a most intense and wonderful time for me - very beautiful and special. I felt enclosed in a protective glow and comfort the whole time I was in that challenging place - I think because I was following guidance and truly meant to be there. I lived there for two highly interesting years, before receiving the next step that brought me closer to GOD. All that said - after 50 years of latihan - those early ways of seeing and experiencing the world hardly seem important at this stage of life. But someone’s contribution to Reminders triggered memories of long ago, and I asked Emmanuel if he thought anyone would be interested. - - - - - The Kindest Man By Michelle Gill As part of my work, I am required to travel a lot, and I am quite used to international travel and its various challenges. Something occurred last year, however, that was quite unexpected, but due to the kindness of a stranger it turned from a very negative experience to a very positive one. There is a daily flight between Dubai and Manchester with Emirates Airlines, that is always extremely full. When you get off of the plane, there are always so many people, everyone is thinking about getting through passport control, and collecting their luggage, and sometimes there are long queues. I was on this flight on a recent trip back from an overseas visit, and it is one I take quite regularly. I am not someone who travels light, I always seem to end up with a large amount of hand luggage, no matter how much I try to pack my suitcase well. On this occasion, however, I seemed to have more to carry than normal. I had been travelling from Africa and the Dubai flight was the last leg, and I had a rucksack on my back, and a carrier bag also. The carrier bag was completely full, with a book, personal toiletry items, paperwork, a jumper, food snacks, pens, everything you can think of. I had just got off the plane and was starting on the journey down the long corridor that takes you inside the airport, along with so many other people. All of a sudden, the carrier bag broke and the entire contents were quickly strewn all over the floor. It was quite a shock for me, and I felt completely unable to react. It was such an unpleasant experience, to stand there, looking at my items across the floor, whilst streams of people walked past me, completely oblivious to what had happened. I don’t know why but all I could do was to stand there, looking at the items, and all the people walking past, and then begin making a feeble attempt to pick up individual items, but I couldn’t possibly fill my hands with everything on the floor. All of a sudden, a man came back towards me from the crowds. He immediately picked up my jumper from the floor, and starting tying knots into it, and quickly fashioned a makeshift bag. He then collected all of my items from the floor, whilst I just stood there staring, and then cheerfully handed me my jumper full of items. I stumbled out a ‘thank you’ to him, and then he was gone, off into the crowds again. I looked for the man when I was waiting for my luggage, but I couldn’t find him. I had hoped to properly thank him and tell him how kind he was. But I couldn’t, so I am writing this instead, in the that hope on some level, his action is acknowledged. I think the most striking part of the experience, was that he was already past me on his way to Immigration, and yet he stopped and turned around and came back. He was so quick-thinking, and I never would have imagined being able to make such a clever bag from a jumper. I have named him, ‘the kindest man’, and I am really grateful for his actions on that day, which reminded me of the importance of the kindness of strangers. - - - - - |
The Serene, Transforming Beam of Light By Anonymous I was feeling small and useless and empty and focused on the pain in my back - an injury from a strained muscle that kept me immobile for a few days; I was treating it with a heat wrap and rest. Suddenly and unexpectedly, all changed within my awareness. I did not begin a latihan - but then I have been receiving latihan for over 50 years. I became aware of a beam of white light stretching way up to the beyond (and in another dimension than my ordinary one) - the beam of light grew wider - and was somehow passing through my being, which split open and yet somehow was part of and encompassed it - the wide beam of light. There was a peace beyond description. Serene. At some point in this experience I heard inwardly an assurance “When it is your time to pass through the Veil, I’ll be there waiting for you” - I believed this to be Christ. His Presence seemed to permeate the entire experience somehow. There seemed to be a ‘rain’ of compassion and forgiveness washing and cleansing of many souls occurring. I felt them draw near to the light and then gradually move on upward, changed/transformed/released by Mercy. Some I recognized from my life (passed on); others I was given to understand were those I had somehow touched in life or prayed for. I pray a lot for anyone who might simply need a prayer to help them find their way to GOD. I was given to understand this was a multitude of souls being released upward and set on their way to GOD, Allah, Allaha and the Presence and Name of Jesu Christu were involved. This seemed so solid and real while it was happening; and involving an aspect of my larger latihan-developed soul. I had the privilege of being made a witness to this Action, and actually participating in a mysterious fashion. I can only term it ‘a gift from GOD’. While this experience was ongoing, the Peace and Calm that encompassed me - making it all seem quite matter of fact - stand out in my memory. This wide beam of light was very similar to that described so articulately by Anonymous in a recent Reminders, so I thought I’d share my similar experience, as well - as a kind of witness of her experience. I am also wondering if others have had this sort of experience, and would be willing to share? - - - - - Deliverance from Drugs By Anonymous From 19 to 23 years of age, I smoked marijuana daily because once I'd found that escape route from an unpleasant world, I could no longer face living on this planet without it. By surrendering to the vegetable forces so completely, I weakened my strengths and outer shell of protection and became over sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others. That in itself was unpleasant, so I became reclusive and eventually was not adjusted to society. On hearing about the Latihan, Bapak and the Subud Brotherhood, something in my chest flipped over and an inner locution said " Beyond the mind." I had a clear intention of travelling that path, so one night I simply arrived at a Subud Hall unannounced as people were preparing to go in for Latihan. Understandably, that didn't flow so I retreated. However; I didn't miss out on an opening, because after I arrived back at my apartment while sitting quietly on the sofa, a cone of Grace descended over me in which I sat bathed in pure bliss. After it lifted, perhaps four minutes later, I was changed. My life changed from that night, no more drugs, no more associating with people who were involved with that way of life. Dreams became prophetic, I knew the right spiritual path to follow and when the time was right, four years later, I was officially opened. During those four years, on Thursday nights, I thought about that group at the Subud hall. About five years after being opened, in the midst of a normal and contented life, the cleaning out of the drugs took place. At the time, I remember describing the experience (to myself) as "feeling like a robot who is having various parts of the body removed one by one and each part being cleaned as much as I can bear it." That purification process took about a year. It was a physically, mentally and emotionally painful time, but because it was done in instalments, it was bearable. We had good helpers, but because all my life I'd felt misunderstood ( borderline Aspergers syndrome) and believed that I had to look after myself, I kept that time of purification to myself. How merciful of Almighty God to arrange for the cleansing of drugs to happen in instalments like that. - - - - - 'The Nuclear Dilemma' Excerpt from a Bapak talk: Hamburg, Germany, September 20, 1983 (83 HAM 3) During a visit by Bapak to the Erler & Pless photographic laboratories in Hamburg on September 20, I983, Lorenz Pless expressed the feelings of many when he spoke to Bapak of the threat of nuclear war: (Lorenz) Sometimes we discuss more than others the problem that Hamburg is really a place that will be destroyed in the first ten minutes of any war between East and West. It is said that most of the nuclear weapons are stored in Germany now - and it's not a nice feeling. What can we do to stop this? Shall we run away to Australia? Or is it our duty to sit here and try to stop this trouble? (Bapak) 'There is no method for what you say, except one thing - and that is to have great faith in Almighty God. Because what human beings figure out for themselves is not necessarily what will happen. For example, you calculate that if there is a war between America and Russia, the first city that will be bombed will be Hamburg. Can you be sure? You cannot even be sure that the war will be between America and Russia. It could even be between Russia and Russia. What human beings plan hardly ever happens. As you yourself said, you plan one thing, but what happens is something different. So all you can do is to surrender, to really have faith in Almighty God and deal with whatever happens. So you react to the situation in which you are: and if the time comes when you have to move to Australia, then move to Australia. And that move will be safe because it will be by God's Will - not because you have thought something out for yourself. All you can do is really to have faith in Almighty God, and the result will be that you will be much clearer and much quieter in your thinking and much more at peace within your heart. Your good fortune won't be disturbed by all your worries and concern. Your profits won't be disturbed. For example, who foresaw a few years ago that Iran and Iraq would go to war, since they were the same nation basically, of the same religion, the same everything. And yet it has happened. Normally, people do not foresee what is going to happen. You can think of all sorts of things . . .the world is really like that. If you really think deeply about what goes on in the world, it is really frightening. But the thing to remember is that it is all in the hands of Almighty God. The way things happen, only God can know, and only God can decide.' - - - - - Facing the Difficulties of These Times Ibu Rahayu So, when you face a problem do not collapse in confusion or become anxious or fearful – you should call God’s name so that you activate your soul and surrender. This is particularly important these days when people have no idea how to face catastrophes which people can do nothing about. And people will ask “what should we do?” This is why you are lucky for you have this contact. So use the contact between your soul and God. Times like this are a test for humanity. The strong will stand firm, the weak will be lost. WSC Gathering Bangalore, India 8 August, 2006 - - - - - An Accidental Opening By Anonymous A few years ago, I had the opportunity to witness the life of a man who was ‘accidentally’ opened but who had no wish to join Subud. It happened as a result of the book The Dawning by Emmanuel Elliott. Although the man in question was forty and I seventy, we were acquaintances with a lot in common. I never discussed Subud with him, because he didn’t care to join any organisation after leaving the Pentecostal Church where he’d been a Pastor and he was a sensitive to the extent that would be described as psychic. I lent him the book because of a conversation we’d had without realising that he was one of those people who love books and only return them if they must. He held onto it without reading it and eventually I asked him to return it because somebody else wanted to read it. Consequently, while sitting in the car outside my place, he hastily read the last part of the book before bringing it to me. When he entered the house and handed it to me he said, “What’s the Latihan?” Taken by surprise, I started to talk about a ball of light entering a young man in Indonesia and within no more than twenty seconds, something started to happen to him. He opened his arms wide, raised his chin and was describing a magnificent field of Grace entering him. Uh oh! I raced into the kitchen and waited. I was not about to participate in the opening of a man. I needn’t have concerned myself, however, because it was all happening from the other side, apparently. (Remember I said he was psychic? Well he was also a medium!) This was 2013 and an Indonesian man who had recently died, participated in this opening. I explained about a helpers group giving support during the early years, but no, his ‘Helper’ on the other side would take care of everything. You might well ask what became of this man? How did his life pan out? It was nail-biting to watch. This highly paid I.T. Executive happily threw in his career, threw away the suit and tie, sold most of his possessions and took a job as a gardener on an estate in return for a cottage and a small remuneration. Without a helpers group to guide him, he went on meditating, but eventually asked how to sort which was meditation and which was latihan because it was tremendously deep, he said and went on for an hour twice a day. Yikes! I visited him once and noted that he was eating very healthy food and drinking green juices. He described what must have been very painful physical purification. Eventually he tired of gardening, lost his accommodation and started living in his truck. His entire outer life now transformed, he seemed to have lost all boundaries. I tried not to feel responsible, after all I told myself, it was The Dawning that caused all this. He was a good man leading a celibate life, not missing material comforts, the many changes and purification were viewed as ‘karma’ and for a while he came to me once a week for motherly food. Eventually he moved far away to live with his elderly mother and we totally lost contact, but before he went, he told me of two lives he’d had in China: one as a powerful Mandarin and another as a monk. During his life as a Mandarin, he said, I had been his Scribe. - - - - - More Corroboration By Michael Rogge Anonymous wrote in the last edition: This wide beam of light was very similar to that described so articulately by Anonymous in a recent Reminders, so I thought I’d share my similar experience, as well - as a kind of witness of her experience. I am also wondering if others have had this sort of experience, and would be willing to share?” This ties in with my own experience which I mentioned in my article ‘The phenomenon of Spontaneous Spiritual Awakening’: https://wichm.home.xs4all.nl/Cosmic%20consciousness.html Just yesterday our member in Indonesia John Bijlsma drew my attention to a similar experience by Sharif Horthy recounted in YouTube interview https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMc4pTeIy-w This morning it occurred to me that those people who see round objects in the sky following them, might well have undergone an ‘awakening’ as well, but projected their inner experience outside themselves in the sky. Often such sightings are only seen by themselves. Prof. Jung commented on this that in an age that people lose credence in salvation coming from above – Jesus Christ coming down from the clouds at doomsday – round disks, symbolizing the self, may be envisioned instead. - - - - - A New Djiwa? By Anonymous One night in 1985 while I was visiting Cilandak, I experienced myself being 'walked' by Mas Adji until I was underneath his windows. He was leaning on a window ledge and softly called out to me. He asked what I was doing there and invited me in. (Years later he admitted to having used a little Javanese magic on me.) He gave me baked custard from the fridge and asked me many questions. Then he asked could he hold me to his chest. I responded. He said, "Be still, be quiet." I felt as though I was half asleep and then, after a time, there was a click in my chest as though a shutter had opened and closed. It felt like being opened. He said "Good girl". That was the moment when a new being came in. After my stay, before I departed for home, Mas Adji invited Ibu Rahaju to my room to meet me. I had the distinct impression that he was showing her his handiwork. While Ibu was there, he told me to kiss her, which I did. When I returned home, my husband said, "Before you went there, an old man was inside you and now he's gone and a brown skinned Island girl is your inner self." 'There are more things in heaven and earth, than are dreamt of in our philosophy.' - - - - - |