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Dream Vision, June 2020 By Anonymous I was lifted by an unknown force. As I rose higher and higher, my body began to reverse age until I lost my ability to judge, think normally or to speak. When I stopped going up, I had become a gurgling baby held in the loving arms of an immense ‘Father’ who I could see had long straight grey hair and a huge smile on his face. All around space one could feel a powerful, loving force. In fact, the ‘Father’ conveyed to me somehow that the force had been dialled down to accommodate me, as the full force might have damaged my form as it is now. Very humbling and comforting to have a real home, in that loving force, accommodative to all that is and is not. - - - - - A Greater Release of Light By Anonymous One particularly strong experience I had during latihan in 1987, the year that Bapak left us, has dominated my attitude towards Subud ever since. I experienced the presence of Christ in front of me and then felt the release of an energy and light that was very powerful, loving and true. I felt myself move into this light, and parts of myself receded and other parts became stronger, almost like certain other qualities were what I was in this light, and the rest was back in the physical world. This place felt more real to me then the ordinary world, although both have their own realities and governing laws. While experiencing this state, I was told quite a few things, many of which I can't consciously recall. But I clearly remember being told that Subud came from this place, and that the Christ force was controlling the release of the amount of light that would be experienced by human beings, and that this would take many forms; that Subud's light had been reduced, because Subud in a sense had already served it's purpose, at least from what this level expected of it. Subud would continue to receive some light, and it was still a valid form through which to worship God, but I was not to expect too much from it, at least not in its outer form. I was told that Subud was a preparation for the greater release of light, something that might be interpreted as a 'second coming.' - - - - - My Hands Knew what to do By Myriam Ramsay As a teacher I’ve had a lot of experiences where my latihan guided my actions. But as the story below proves that my mind is usually the last to understand. In the USA every spring students in the 3rd , 4th and 5th grades must complete a week of tests that are used to grade schools on how they are doing as a school. Teachers and staff sign legal documents that they will not share or discuss the tests with any person inside or outside the school system. Test booklets are kept under lock and key, and no one is allowed in the room unless the test administrator is present. Test administrators have the responsibility of complying with state guidelines, reporting infractions and following a strict time table on collecting completed test booklets and sending them to the central office. Our test administrator was our reading teacher and she took her responsibility seriously. In past years our school had achieved high marks for compliance and she wanted to continue this trend. The students had just finished all the tests and the completed booklets were in the reading teacher’s office ready to be sent to the county for scoring. I was walking past the office and through the window saw our reading teacher looking very upset and near tears. I found myself walking into the room and asking her what was wrong. She said the test booklets wouldn’t scan. So I walked over and grabbed the scanner from her and picked up a booklet. I held the booklet at an angle and started to scan. We heard the blip blip sound as I successfully scanned several booklets. Another administrator who was talking on the phone to another school about this same problem walked over and saw what was happening. I heard her say, “Ramsey figured it out. You have to tilt the booklets then they scan”. So now our school and another school knew how to do this. I gave the scanner back to the reading teacher who burst out crying and gave me a hug. Then I went off to my room to get my work done not thinking anything more about it. The next day I overheard our reading teacher explaining to another teacher what had happened. She said, “ Myriam walked in quietly and calmly and picked up the scanner and got it to work. It was a miracle”. It was then that I saw the scene as it had happened. My feet walked me into the room and my hands knew just what to do. I had never scanned anything in my life and didn’t even know the booklets needed to be scanned, but just like Bapak said over and over. “Your hands will be guided; your feet will be guided as long as you are quiet.” Realizing this that after 30 years of latihan, my hands had life, my feet had life and knew exactly what to do was a very moving experience. The fact that it happened in this everyday situation gives me great faith in the power of the latihan to make a difference in small ways as well as the large ways our minds hope for. - - - - - Window of Opportunity By Anonymous Several years ago when I was a member of a very small group, it came to the helpers' attention that there was an elderly Subud lady in a nursing home about 40 miles out of town. There was some concern expressed by the NHs about her well-being and they were unsure whether or not she was receiving proper care. The other lady helper in the local group felt not to be involved at all, and so I stepped forward and agreed to visit her myself, though I had never met her before. This Subud lady was previously a well known active helper and was now in her nineties. On my visit I found her to be well taken care of by the staff. Good, I could relay this information back to the NHs. She was talkative and told me about the people whose photos were displayed on her dresser. I took her outside in a wheelchair and together we listened to the birds singing and enjoyed the peace of the wooded countryside and pond. It was a gentle time of getting to know one another. Then we did latihan together in her bedroom which fortunately was a private room. She sat on the side of her bed and held on to her walker for balance while I stood for latihan in the usual way. During the latihan I became aware that her inner self was in a state of desperation and despair. My awareness grew to understand that at a deep level she realized that she had missed the Subud opportunity. When she was younger and could move easily, she did not allow her latihan to progress with deeper surrender, and now that she was old and so stiff that she could barely move, it was too late. I felt great compassion for her. A little later on when it was time for me to leave, she grabbed my arm with surprising strength and begged me not to go. I said some things to her about being in God's hands and trusting God to reassure her and she relaxed and bid me farewell. This experience left me with a powerful message that we need to use the window of opportunity we are given to develop our latihan and make progress when we are still able to move freely. In many of his talks, Bapak used to tell us that we needed to let the latihan purify our inner self to make progress, or else we would be disappointed later on. How true. - - - - - Three Dreams of Bapak By Lucas Horton Dream 1 Viideo link https://youtu.be/pzXLwitH-dM Dream 2 Video link https://youtu.be/QzGGzUV0aAE Dream 3 Video link https://youtu.be/LGek984ALuY - - - - - Bapak looked just like a Hospital Manager By Rohana Darlington I particularly liked reading the contribution to Reminders of Reality entitled ‘Windows of Opportunity/ It reminded me of how important it is that our older isolated members should not be forgotten. As I’ve had a lot of experience in accompanying ill ladies in Latihan, I felt like sharing some of mine, in the hope it might encourage people not to miss out on what can be a wonderful opportunity both for the sick person and also for the person visiting them. My first experience of accompanying a sick person in their Latihan began with Bapak visiting me at a group Latihan I attended in Manchester seven years ago. Of course Bapak had died long ago, so this experience was a surprise for me. In this group Latihan, I became aware with my inner eyes of a gentleman wearing a formal dark suit standing in front of me. My mouth opened spontaneously and said. “Bapak Muhammad Subuh!” My first thought was, “He looks just like a Hospital Manager!” Then I became aware that Bapak was telepathically communicating with me, and asked me if I would be prepared to do something for him. Immediately, my mouth opened again, and I said, “Of course, Bapak.” Then I became aware he had left the room. After the Latihan ended, another lady approached me and said, “That was Bapak, wasn’t it?” When I went home I wondered what it was Bapak had asked me to do, what had I unknowingly agreed to! So I wrote the experience down in my computer, deciding I’d just wait to see what happened next, as I was just about to leave this group to move over 200 miles south to an area where I didn’t know any Subud members. When I arrived there I discovered that this southern group was very spread out geographically, and members live 70 miles apart from one end of the area to the other. Then I found out that a nice, dedicated helper lived very near my new home and she asked me if I’d be prepared to accompany her to visit a very sick member who was bed-bound. She said because the other group members lived so far apart it was difficult for them to visit this very ill lady, and so she did this on her own before I arrived. As I don’t drive, this helper said that she’d love to drive me there and back, a distance of about nine miles each way. As for the past twenty years I’d been working as a therapist in a hospital with terminally ill older patients of all kinds, employed by the charity Age UK, I was happy to agree, as I loved my work before I retired. It then dawned on me why I thought Bapak had looked like a hospital manager allocating duties to staff, in my earlier Latihan experience! So began a period of four years when this helper and I visited this patient twice a week, and on the way we collected another isolated old lady who was too infirm to attend group latihans anymore, and together we all had Latihan with the sick patient. This lady was so ill she was in constant pain, and had to sit on a pile of seventeen thin mattresses rather precariously balanced on top of each other in a tower-like formation, as she was so sensitive, this was the only way she could be comfortable. Her husband had constructed this arrangement for her, and I used to think it was like the fairy tale The Princess and the Pea. One day in Latihan I saw Bapak and Ibu arrive to join us, and Ibu looked astonished at the extraordinary pile of mattresses! In time, as this lady became more and more weak, the latihans became more and more beautiful. Sometimes I’d receive the experience of being stretched in Latihan and received the words, “Going Up!” as if in a lift, and was shown this faithful attendance with this lady was helping me to develop too. Eventually, this lady died, and her funeral was attended by many Subud members, and I was then asked if I’d agree to continue to visit the other infirm old lady for Latihan in her home. The same kindly helper offered to continue |
to take me in her car, and bring me home again, and this was a distance of about six miles each way, which we did twice a week for another two years.
So I was delighted to continue with the friendship we’d all developed, and the latihans became very cohesive, as we all became closer and closer in our inner feelings. As time went on, this lady’s health also deteriorated, and she had to transfer to a residential care home. Nevertheless, we continued to visit her there, and the helper made a notice which she hung on the door, saying LATIHAN IN PROGRESS! She explained to the care home staff we were sharing in prayer and wanted not to be disturbed, which they were happy to agree to. This time the situation was more difficult, as the patient’s room was very small and the only way we could do Latihan was by standing in one spot for the half-hour without being able to move while the patient sat in her invalid’s chair, as by now she could no longer stand. Nevertheless, we all had the most beautiful latihans. We would have been happy to continue for as long as required, but then Covid-19 appeared, and we were no longer allowed to visit the care home as we were not relatives, for fear of infection. Although we continued to pray for this lady and remember her before we did our own latihans at home, and sent her cards, flowers and letters, she became bewildered and depressed, as by now she had developed dementia, was very deaf and couldn’t understand why we could no longer visit her, as when the helper tried to organise a ZOOM meeting, the lady found it incomprehensible. And then this lady had a fall and had to undergo surgery twice in two months at the age of 94. It was really sad, but nevertheless, I felt this was a process of preparation she had to go through before she left this world. She has always been extremely sociable, but now she was having to learn more deeply to be alone with God before she died. Her inner was really beautiful, but her outer was suffering greatly. To date, we are still not able to visit her, and the kindly helper is abroad just now, but we trust we shall have more news when it is the right time. Apparently Bapak encouraged helpers not to neglect sick elderly members, as he told them if they accompanied ill members in Latihan, they too would be purified of any inherent similar illnesses they may have a predisposition to. I was also told by someone that Bapak also selected certain helpers to do this work in particular, as he felt they had the aptitude for it. This certainly applies to the kindly helper I share latihans with. - - - - - Rediscovering Bliss By Therodore Salisbury The recent contribution to Reminders of Reality relating to Pak Musa and the three kinds of latihan meant a great deal to me. This was new to me, although over the last three years, since joining with three other men helpers to do latihan and testing informally, my latihan has developed rapidly. Now, when I practice the ‘sitting latihan’ advocated by Pak Musa, and just feel my latihan strongly, my mind is almost empty. That in itself is a miracle, When I was opened my mind was always going 100 mph; To go back a bit, I attended the 2013 Subud USA Congress in Albuquerque, and afterward became aware that I had experienced some sort of spiritual "hit" there; Aminah Herrman (as she is now; was then Aminah Ulmer and a national helper) told me she had too, and some others, though she was never specific. Then early that fall I first had a whole-body outbreak of eczema, which was soon followed by a loss of strength, energy, and appetite that confined me mostly to bed and recliner for months. It was so severe that I lost about 30 lbs. and had to stop seeing clients and retire as a marriage and family therapist. But with it came a great blessing: my mind too almost stopped for a long time--or the volume was turned down so low I could just tune it out and BE. In March 2014 my doctor finally diagnosed it as polymyalgia rheumatica, which I'd never heard of. This usually runs its course, as mine has, in one to six years, but can be permanent and much worse than what I had--even, rarely, fatal. No one knows its cause, but the two best guesses are viral, or autoimmune. It was soon clear that for me it was autoimmune (i.e. rooted in self-hatred), and a gigantic and much needed purification (confirmed through testing). And those many months I spent in the last three years doing latihan with my three brothers was like a continuation or resumption or acceleration of this process. Even though we eventually fell apart, I find that usually I can sit down in my comfy recliner, quiet myself and at once feel my latihan very strongly in my limbs, and often my whole body. And my mind is quiet, almost empty – a blissful feeling I never expected or knew to expect. Still, when I do an active latihan my mind is pretty busy, in line with what Pak Musa said because my ‘monkey mind’ chatter has not yet been blown away. I find, also unexpectedly, that I am more and more often contented: an experience I can faintly recall--but only the feeling, with no associated words, situations, or events--from when I was a very small child. Also, my second marriage, which has been very difficult, is becoming easier and easier as we approach our 20th anniversary. All this seems to fit with what Pak Musa said about the three kinds of latihan. So thanks to the anonymous author, for this sharing. - - - - - How I got to New Zealand By Ramzi Addison !972 – Kingston on Thames, Surrey –July, 8.30 pm. I stepped out of the Latihan hall behind Bentalls and the summery English evening wafted a strange smell into my nostrils. Spicy and warm and definitely not a London smell. “What is this?” I asked. “This is the smell of Indonesia” came the reply. “Why is this happening?” I asked. “Because you must go to Wisma Subud – and take your whole family.”. At this time I was 26 and had just finished three years at Teachers’ Training College – the Froebel Institute. We had three children, all under four years old and we were not rich. So I went home and talked about this with my wife, Aisjah, and we decided to go. We had no idea where the money was to come from but next morning Aisjah took the children off to the doctor to get them inoculated against any nasty tropical diseases they might be exposed to. Bapak had not long before been on a long visit round the UK and Holland and some of us young men made an effort to follow the entourage round the UK – up to Edinburgh and across to Holland. I game back from this full of the feeling that we Subud families should be building communities in different ways – all with the aim of providing a stronger platform for the families to grow and be able to support each other in the difficult task of following Bapak’s advice and guidance and bringing our Latihans out into the world. In pursuit of this mission some of us were planning to sell our houses and buy a much bigger one together. A brother– someone we had known before Subud – and who was a good friend – had agreed to buy our house and on hearing of our plans to go to Indonesia offered to give us a deposit on the house. We went to his bank and drew out one thousand pounds in cash. I’d never seen so much money and I remember feeling it wanted to come to us. In those days to do any bookings we had to go up to the BOAC HQ. So off we went with the thousand pounds to see someone at BOAC about going to Indonesia. It was the school summer holidays and I had managed to get a prime position at a good school in Reigate, starting in September, when the new school year started. Our plan was to go for four weeks so I could get back in time to start the new job, but as the BOAC man went through various options that fitted our budget the only one that we could possibly do was for six weeks and would bring us back two weeks after school started! The alternative was to not go at all. So there I was with my friend standing next to me looking at the options and I knew I had to say yes. At the same time I saw that this would mean that all our plans for the community would fall down, I would not get the new job and that I would never go back to the UK. At the same time I knew I could not tell anyone, even Aisjah, about this. So I said, “Yes. ok, I’ll take it”. Now this might seem to the normal view to be highly irresponsible, but I had learned already, after four years Latihan, that a healthy sense of irresponsibility was an essential prerequisite for anyone seriously contemplating a life following the path of Subud. The other essential quality is courage. It seemed to me that anyone can receive guidance through the Latihan – that is the easy bit. It’s what you do next that counts. A few weeks later we arrived in Wisma Subud and settled in. Almost immediately I found myself talking to people about business ideas and enterprises and suchlike. I found this a little disturbing. As an ex beatnik I espoused the view that all commerce was inherently bad so why, when I entered this spiritual womb where Bapak lived, was I thinking about businesses? These disturbing thoughts kept happening and I begged God many times for an answer. “Why am I being so interested in business when this is something which is not spiritual at all? What is going on?” Then came an answer. It was explained to me, as a series of coloured slides, like a child’s ABC book, what was the spiritual content of business. Everything starts on the material level, like the earth, then mankind, using the human force, digs out some of the earth and rocks and transforms it into higher material level objects like spoons, cups, cars. In the same way mankind works on the soil and prepares it and plants seeds. These seeds take the earth and transform it into plants and raise the earth to the vegetable level. Some of these plants are used to feed animals and this raises it again to the animal level. Some of the plants and the animals are eaten by humans and thus raised to the human level. All this is orchestrated through business in all its various forms. Ok – so now I could accept thinking about business – I’d been shown something of the spiritual reality of business. This understanding has informed everything I have done since in connection with business, including Subud enterprises and eventually gaining a PhD in Management and becoming a Senior Lecturer in business at university. We were coming towards the end of our six week stay and I did not want to go home. Then I contracted a severe stomach bug that laid me up for days and I became very weak. I started to recover and one morning I woke up very early and felt the Latihan start in my chest as a very strong vibration. I looked down and my chest opened and inside there was a relief model of New Zealand. “This is where you must go” I was told. I quickly recovered. I had been to New Zealand as a boy rating in the merchant navy on board the Dunedin Star – a freighter that had travelled round New Zealand offloading then again loading up for the return to England. I loved what I saw and felt then that I’d like to live there. After my receiving I talked about going to NZ with Aisjah and she agreed that it seemed like a good idea. Ok so now we’d received to go to New Zealand my mind got to work on the project. Being a city boy from London, I wanted to go to the biggest city – Auckland. I certainly didn’t want to go to Christchurch, a small provincial and very boring looking city when we went there in 1963. I decided that I would leave Aisjah and the children in Wisma Subud, return to England, sell the house and then return to Wisma Subud where we could spend Ramadan before proceeding to New Zealand. I thought we could stay there for maybe five years before moving off for more adventures. I also felt that I should not be a teacher but should go into business administration. So Tuti arranged for me to see Bapak, with Sjarif translating. “I feel we should go and live in New Zealand” I told Bapak –“ Is this right?” Bapak paused for a moment then said “Yes – go to New Zealand. But not Auckland! You go to Christchurch or perhaps Wellington. You go now and there is something there for you. Your wife goes back to England and waits for you to get established. You must go for a long time!”. Bapak also confirmed that I should not be a teacher but should go into business “administrasi”. So I got the basic thing right but my heart and mind were not so good! Three days later I arrived in Christchurch in September 1972 to be met at the airport by about six Christchurch Subud members and was whisked off to someone’s house where I stayed for a couple of weeks. I quickly found a job in an office and rented a house and Aisjah joined me just before Christmas. Aisjah had by far the greatest burden in this in travelling back from Indonesia to England with three children under five then sorting out all the business of selling the house and finishing off all the many little details and then travelling all the way from London to New Zealand on her own. We’ve never regretted coming here and have stayed in Christchurch for the last 48 years having various adventures – a long time indeed! Now and again we wish we could move to some other part of New Zealand, when we find somewhere particularly nice in our travels but we always feel “You do not yet have permission”. Quite a few brothers and sisters helped us in our adventures, in England, Indonesia and New Zealand. May God bless them and watch over them. And my brother who gave me the deposit on the house? It all worked out and he bought the house. So even though I’d acted, on the face of it, very irresponsibly, no-one was hurt and everyone got what was theirs. What did we learn? Trust God! - - - - - |