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My Ascension By Howerd Halay (An extract from my book Ascension available from Amazon Kindle for £9.99) On 21 December 2007 I became very shivery, as if ill. I could not stop shaking and come what may I could not warm myself up. After some time I recovered sufficiently to get into bed. I was incredibly cold. Then I lost consciousness. It was about 10.30 a.m. A short time later I found myself at the lowest level of Heaven. I could see high above me the beautiful gold and blue Subud symbol, but it was a domed roof and also there were other structures of breathtaking brilliance and beauty, but all of the same two colours, brilliant beautiful gold and beautiful brilliant blue. To me the gold seemed real but beautiful at the same time. Also the lighting seemed to come from the gold and blue structures. There were no shadows however. I cannot remember it clearly, but I saw a “very light blue tube” in the middle rising up and up into a vast faraway distance. The reason I cannot remember this tube clearly is because I was focused on the breathtaking beauty of the place. Then after only three to four seconds I suddenly started to accelerate at an enormous speed upwards. It was so fast that the levels I passed caused a strobing effect.. Then the acceleration increased to an unbelievable speed until the sides around me blurred and became like a white blurred surround. The width therefore of Heaven seemed to become narrower and more like a tube although I could clearly see the roof of the construction which was like the Subud symbol. My speed increased and increased. The tube I was traveling in also bent somewhat whereas before it was extremely straight, and did not seem to taper off with distance. Then suddenly the experience was stopped prematurely and I regained consciousness. I was a little warmer than when I started but still felt quite ill. The whole experience lasted just a minute or so. I suspect that it was a trial run, to see how my soul and body would cope. I felt no fear whatsoever during the experience because I KNEW where I was. It was a trial ascension. I also felt cold for at least half a day afterwards before slowly returning to normal. - - - - - The Comforting Presence of Bapak By Reynold Heyward I am still suffering some after effects of my brush with the dreaded covid, but am pleased to say that I'm feeling stronger each day, and have been overwhelmed by the love and concern shown by Subud and church members and by my dear wife who looked after me. At one time during the peak of my illness, I was in a sort of stupor, not knowing whether I was coming or going, and not seeming to find any respite. During this time of stupor and utter frustration, not knowing which way to go, I suddenly saw Bapak sitting there in the corner of my mind. It felt as if there was someone with him, but I couldn't make out who it was. It was so comforting I felt he really knew my plight and loved me and wanted to take care of me. Although it didn't stop the suffering at the time, it remained something beyond my suffering to work towards. When Bapak was with us in the physical body, I often went to his talks at the hotels and waited at the airport, and of course there were those wonderful days at Alexandra Palace, but I never got the opportunity to speak to him or shake his hand. So that experience was very special for me. - - - - - Meeting Fire with Fire By Sebastian Paemen Our son moved back in with us about two weeks ago from London. Unfortunately he brought a 'present' with him. All three of us are recovering from covid now. Judging by the symptoms it seems to be the British variant. I wasn't infected when staying with my mother in the Netherlands last month while she had covid. Anyway, it's unpleasant (particularly the feeling of having stingy nettles in my chest), but we all have it relatively mildly and are gradually getting better. After about four days the fever and coughing were gone but other symptoms persist, like a sore chest, sore throat, muscle pain and lack of appetite. I have been in contact with several Subud members and non-Subud members who've had covid and they all said the same that symptoms tend to last between 3-4 weeks or longer. Sometimes of course these can last several months, or even become permanent. Some of us agreed that this virus comes with a feeling of 'nastiness'. Involving a particularly 'nasty' lower force. You can nearly 'touch' it. Just after my son moved in here and before he started to show symptoms l kept feeling that there was something 'nasty' in his room. I felt disturbed each time I went in there, so I started to avoid his room. Initially l thought that he'd brought a jinn with him from London and I was thinking about organising a long distance clearing latihan with some helpers to get rid of it. My own inner guidance seems to tell me that I need to fast to get over this. So I have started to eat very little, mainly healthy broths. Let's hope for the best. - - - - - A Meeting with Ibu Sumari By Rohana Darlington The story in the last edition of Reminders of Reality where the writer recalls meeting Ibu Siti Sumari and being asked her name particularly resonated with me. This reminded me of a similar encounter I had and which seems to confirm the same theme. When I was about 20 and had been in Subud for a couple of years, I went to the Horthy’s house in Redington Road in Hampstead, London, to offer my services to Bapak’s party, as they’d requested people to help in the household during the day. I lived in a student’s bed-sitter nearby at that time, and so was given a time on the rota to arrive, but the day before, I fell over and broke two of my fingers. The hospital said they didn’t require any treatment other than a bandage on the hand as they were not very painful and would heal in due course without needing to be set. This date coincided with a visit from Princess Margaret ( our present Queen Elizabeth II’s sister, for those who may not know), to the art school where I was a student, and I felt a strong feeling to go the Hampstead house instead of turning up at my art class to meet Princess Margaret. I felt it would be OK as if I was asked why I hadn’t attended my class I could always say I wasn’t able to because of my injury. I didn’t want to miss my chance to meet Bapak and his party if I could help it! When I arrived at the house, I was asked to arrange some flowers in a vase, which I could manage even though one hand was bandaged. I was in a corner of a sitting room doing the flowers when suddenly the door opened and in came Ibu. She was in her dressing gown as she had just had a bath. As soon as she saw me, a stranger, she approached me, and before I knew what I was doing, my knees gave way and I knelt down before her, feeling I was in the presence of a queen. She then embraced me, and asked me what my name was. I told her it was Rohana, and she asked me if Bapak had given it to me. When I said ‘Yes,’ she laughed and said, ‘No wati, then!’ which I was told later was the meaning of her daughter Rochanawati’s name: A child on the Rohani level. Evidently I still had far to go! Now I wonder if my name was on Ibu’s alleged list of Subud members she had foreseen she would one day meet? Then she looked at me so kindly and said, “You are a good girl, “ and went off to get dressed in another room. I was really touched, I’ve always remembered this affirmation. On several other occasions I had the privilege of doing Latihan in the house with Ibu and some other ladies. These were wonderful latihans, but what surprised me was Ibu conducted our latihans while drinking a cup of tea! When I got back to my art school the next day, I was told Princess Margaret had been disappointed not to meet me as she’d been admiring some of my textile designs. I showed my tutors my bandaged hand and so I didn’t get into trouble after all. However, I never regretted meeting Ibu instead of Princess Margaret as I know how much my meeting with Ibu meant to me. - - - - - A Dark Energy By Anonymous As I awoke on Monday January 18, 2021 (two days before Biden’s inauguration), I became aware of an energy I was waking up into. It was a dark charcoal grey energy that had some density to it. What I understood was that this energy is all over the United States. It is an energy filled with anger and hate.. It is held in those people who are resisting the change away from a system of government that favors white people into what the framers of our constitution designed us to be, a democratic country where all are understood to be created equal and are actually treated equally. I felt that this dark energy prefers to resist that potential with violence and/or a civil war. - - - - - Calling All Pioneers By Anonymous Did we find Subud? Did Subud find us? Was it planted in us at a young age and waited like a seed to be watered? One brother said that Jesus walked through the wall and said, "Follow me." One old timer says that in the beginning the latihan was too strong, causing Bapak to ask for it to be watered down because occasionally a member would levitate. Apparently a Sumatran student who stayed with one couple on weekends and sometimes did latihan with the husband used to levitate. An elderly sister remembers fifty women in a huge room in the dark with just moonlight coming in making a terrific racket - nobody had told them to turn the lights on - and one night as those ladies waited in the vestibule for the men to finish, suddenly the door was flung open and a naked man came out shouting " I am the Way!" This was followed by an old, old helper who couldn't see without his glasses, peering around the door and calling out " Finish! finish!" Speaking of naked members; did you know that at Cilandak the security guards at the gate always had blankets there to cover up " Runners" as they were called. What must they have thought of us? The locals called it 'Bapak's Djiwa Hospital.' Let's bring forth our most amusing recollection! - - - - - Did Someone Mention Humour? By L.B. This experience that left me feelingas daft as a brush. During my three-months waiting period to get opened I happened to be living in a room that was next door to someone who did latihan late at night, of which I was very aware. Of consequence my dreams started to become bizarre and often in technicolour. In one dream I was in a desert trying to take advantage of a very meagre dune because a bunch of small persons were throwing spears at me. None of the spears hit me and after a while the small persons ran out of spears. I then stood up, gathered together the spears and handed them back to the throwers. I then woke up feeling extremely foolish and wondering if I hadn't had just a wee bit too much philosophy (read "thinking") in my life. - - - - - |
A Wonderful Gift
By Robert Goonetilleke You can call me a pioneer after sixty some years of regular latihan. No question in my being that there is some destiny or unknown factor (for lack of correct words) at work for those who come to Subud and hang on. There is some guidance that comes our way for us to find Subud and the latihan. There are no doubts any more. Going through the ceiling? Yes, it can happen. If there was a weakness in my life, it was my lifelong affinity for the game of football/soccer. Now past eighty, I still watch at least one game a day on the tube. In 1985, I was the manager of a youth soccer select team in northern California and we were into the quarter finals of the State cup, which we eventually won. The training was long and into late hours. This particular day, which was a latihan night, I was informed that an applicant, a young fellow whom I had already met. would be opened. I was late, but still felt I should show up, so after practice I dropped my son at home and drove straight to the Subud house without even having a shower.. The helpers were already testing (as was done in those days} as to who should open the applicant - or in reality who should read the opening statement - and going by the testing it was decided I should do it. We went through the usual procedure and started doing latihan and after a while I had this strange experience. I started stretching vertically, so that soon my head was at the ceiling level and suddenly my head went through the ceiling so that I could see outside - and yet my feet remained firmly planted on the ground. I could see a half moon and a partly cloudy sky with the redwoods swaying in the breeze. Then I asked myself, what I am doing here? Immediately I was back in the hall and back to normal. After latihan I welcomed the new Subud brother and felt the need to be alone. I walked out into the empty parking lot and started doing a short latihan. Another helper who had been present came out to have a smoke and I told him about my experience. “You have received a wonderful gift,” he said, and so it was looking back. The proof of the latihan is a wonderful gift when it comes when you least expect it. - - - - - A Ball of Light By Rachman Mitchell Although I think that the following personal experience was for my own guidance, there were many who had similar experiences at that time who were like me witnesses to Bapak's Mission. At the time there were about six people who had been opened some six months previously. One being John Bennett himself. He had formed a young people's group who met each morning at 7 a.m. in his study seated on the floor with our backs to the wall. He gave some very useful exercises to be more present in our bodies, such as the exercise of sensing. seeing and listening physically without thinking. An exercise that Bapak himself recommends in Susila Budhi Dharma, although it appears no one has ever noticed it. Yes, Mr. B called the exercise Noticing. One morning he spoke about a Teacher from the East who was coming and would alter the direction of our Work. I was a little curious, but not really very interested as these exercises for Noticing were actually for the first time benefitting my state of well being. A few nights later in the middle of the night I sensed an awakening which I had never felt so strongly before. I then noticed a ball of light above the french door which led to the vegetable garden outside. The ball of light moved towards me and then into my head and then passed down my body into my pelvis area. The light was accompanied by a feeling of bliss. which gradually got so strong that it overpowered me and I lost consciousness and went off to sleep. Before this, however, I heard my own voice telling me to follow what the Man from the East was bringing and that it was the all-important path for my life. Another aspect of the experience was that of being back in my real home. The question for me and many like me in the Gurdjieff Work was, "Is this real or am I being mesmerised?" The answer to this question was not going to come from anyone else other than the experience of my own authentic self. Although the words of Bapak are all-enlightening, they will not enlighten unless there is a state within prepared to be enlightened and perhaps prepared to ask honest questions. Although I have had a number of experiences to assure me that I am on the right path, that ball of light has never appeared again. - - - - - Bapak Spoke in English By Anonymous I had met Sebastian at the World Congress and was sad to hear about his present situation. Soon after I read about it in Reminders of Reality. I was moved to do a latihan for Sebastian. I started immediately with a very strong latihan that I would receive if I tested "How is my latihan if I surrendered to the power of God one hundred percent?" I felt a strange and powerful tingling in my fingers of both hands reaching out to the sky. I followed my movements and when I finished found myself in a position of prayer with both hands joined together. I returned to the computer and my thoughts drifted down memory lane. When I moved to the United States a long time ago, I stopped by Cilandak for a few days to ask for Bapak's blessings, but Bapak was recovering from his illness at this time and was not seeing any visitors. On the day my family and I were due to leave for the USA, Tuti informed us that Bapak would see us. We greeted him and he asked us to sit down and then asked me where I was going and the kind of work I would do. He closed his eyes for a short time and said “The USA is not like your country or Indonesia. It is difficult and Bapak will pray to Almighty God so that you can live with the people of the United States in harmony.” In time this truly came to pass and it took me many years before I understood the word "difficult" in the true sense. This was the first time I understood that BYM could speak in English in a way one could understand. - - - - - Being and Doing By Marcus Bolt A lifetime ago, when I was desperately searching for a way to release my ‘true self’ from both inherited and adopted psychological ‘hang ups’, while at the same time yearning to become at one with nature and at peace within (ideas gleaned from a piecemeal study of mysticism, ‘pop’ Zen and the psychology of Jung), I was very impressed by something I read in Colin Wilson’s ‘The Outsider’. After taking an hallucinogenic drug, he’d had a mystical experience; ‘but,’ he wrote, ‘it was like driving at night and switching off your headlights. You could see for miles around, but you had to crawl along at a snail’s pace.’ What was required, he reasoned, was a spotlight on the roof as well. Thus one could drive at speed, headlights on, (analogous to living a normal life) yet still see for miles around (or commune with the world of the inner self and see reality without a cultural filter). He went on to claim he had found his ‘spotlight’ through the Gurdjieff movement – and following up on that link eventually led me to Subud. And today, fifty years later, it becomes clearer and clearer to me that the latihan is exactly that – a ‘spotlight on the roof’ – and it’s a very powerful one. What the spotlight does (for me) is to enable an integration of ‘doing’ and ‘being’, where ‘doing’ equals working in the world, making a buck, and paying the rent, while ‘being’ equates with keeping in touch with the moment, my environment, my body, my relationships and my inner self. I can’t say I manage it all the time, but doing latihan somehow always gets me back on track when I lose the plot. In other words, because I have no religion (and can be embarrassed by Subud’s patina of religious language) I do see the latihan process as a powerful ‘personal development course’, and its source as my personal ‘life-style trainer’. And I’m not alone in thinking this, as the following quote from Bapak reveals: “...that is how it is and that is why this ‘spiritual training’ is training to be alive. In fact, the term ‘spiritual’ is not the right term to use. However, there was no other way to describe this training; there was not another term that fitted the nature of the latihan. When Bapak called it ‘training to live’ [people asked], ‘What does “training to live” mean? Why do we have to train to live? We are already alive aren’t we, so what do we need training for?’ So Bapak had to change the name to ‘spiritual training’. The correct term is ‘training for human life’...” (67 NYC 3) So, there you have it – training for human life. And probably all the great spiritual movements originally bore the same simple message, that a complete human life is about getting the balance right between engaging with this world (doing) – hopefully contributing something positive to civilisation – while at the same time being – keeping in touch with humanity, nature, our inner selves and the source of compassion and love, whatever you believe that to be. But we humans do like to move up in the ranks, so we create religions and ‘isms’ and corporations. We also like to dress stuff up (the ‘mystification of experience’ syndrome, as beloved by mullahs and priests, experts and pundits) and thus we complicate and obfuscate the simple, but eternal, message and spend far too much time doing and not enough being. Let’s not, therefore, turn Subud into a ‘spiritual way’ – a small step from a religion – or into a full-blown corporation, both with implicit hierarchies and ‘one coat fits all’ branding with its inevitable stifling of the individual. Let’s not aggrandise ourselves with an intolerant ‘we, the chosen few, have the only way’ attitude, either. Because, while we are busy doing the ‘we’re right’, defensive stuff, we can’t be compassionate and loving, as is proven by religious fundamentalism. Instead, let’s re-instate Bapak’s ‘training for human life’ concept, while at the same time employing the KISS formula (keep it simple, stupid), thus avoiding the mistakes all the great religions have made – and are continuing to make today. Humour (especially laughing at oneself) is a good way of keeping it simple. So here’s a contribution – my favourite graffito from Nigel Rees’ ‘Graffiti 4’: To be is to do. Sartre To do is to be. Socrates Do-be-do-be-do. Sinatra - - - - - |