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Demons and Disease I was involved in special latihans for a Subud brother who suffered from a terminal illness. The sessions turned out to be short and very intense; only around ten minutes each time before they naturally stopped. The clearing latihans afterwards have never felt more necessary! During the latihan I was surrounded by a rushing force that I likened to millions of aggressive bees. I was surprised to feel around me the contours of a spiritual being. It was strong with a thick, powerful, barrel-like body that seemed substantially larger than my physical body. Had it had a physical form I would not be surprised to see it walk on all fours and be excessively muscular; its forelimbs felt much wider than my arms! I was moved to my hands and knees and swarms and swarms of the ‘bees’ were vomited out from my mouth in wave after wave. The creature was incensed. It was frantic, unable to comprehend what was happening to it and incredulous that it was being thwarted in its plans. My hands were made into fists, pressing hard against the floor while my whole body flexed till my knees lifted off the floor. It was as if my body were contracting till all the ‘bees’ were squeezed out from deep inside and no space for them remained. They flooded out. The demon was very aggressive. I felt its face was big, flat and blunt-featured with bulging eyes. It grimaced in rage and the strong flow of ‘bees’ kept its mouth wide open. It swung its head and flexed its body in frustration, unable to fight back. It was unaware of me as I was merely a conduit through which it was fought; so I was protected but could still observe. Its attachment to the brother was severed. Over the following sessions there was gradually less of its force and influence remaining, and less and less ‘bees’. During the latihans I had the intuition that the swarm of ‘bees’ released by the demon were the physical illness it had caused. This was not demonic possession: I believe the creature’s work is to infect people’s bodies with disease, and having thus established a link to the person, to grow the disease by using its power at a distance. I suppose it must benefit from its actions. Maybe it increases in influence and strength as infected people ail and die. I am reminded of accounts by two early Subud pioneers: Prio Hartono recounted in his book ‘The Mystical World of Java’ how he returned home late one night and as he drew back the curtain to see his sleeping family he saw a spiritual being jump from his daughter into his wife. It must have already infected his son as all three of them came down with chickenpox. He also wrote of seeing a giant spiritual being rise out of a river while he was visiting Sumatra. He received understanding internally that it had come to spread cholera. A few days later he was present at the home of a local doctor when people from the area alongside the river arrived to inform the doctor of cholera spreading in their community. Sunarto Brodjolukito wrote in his brochure ‘My Journey in Subud’ of a relevant superstition: As a young child he once had cotton thread tied around his feet and ankles during a cholera epidemic. He was told that if the evil spirit that causes cholera came to remove his soul only the thinnest, easily broken thread was able to prevent it happening! Another time he became ill with a swollen neck. Off school and asleep that morning he saw a vision of two satanic beings that weirdly appeared to him as teapots with long arms! They slapped his neck on the front, then the right, and then the left side. During the course of his illness his neck swelled in that same sequence of areas before he eventually regained his health. I think there is a correlation between the swarm of millions of ‘bees’ released by the demon I encountered and the nature of the disease it caused. The illness was Acute Myeloid Leukemia, a blood cancer characterised by a flooding of the blood with countless mutated white blood cells. I am sharing this experience as anecdotal evidence of a cause of disease that is unknown to current science. Maybe a demon is just one possible cause among many. I do not know. It is also possible that I was entirely mistaken, though I do not believe it: As a species we understand little of reality, and by spiritual experiences we can know a little more. We are largely unaware, I believe, of what is going on around us or that happens through us. This I think is probably true of higher as well as of lower influences on us. Likewise the demon, unwittingly and at cost of pain to itself, became by its work a factor in the Subud brother taking the next step in his journey towards God. After a few months the brother died. He was relaxed and happy on his last day of life, at peace and at ease about dying. His doctors had been surprised at how long and how well he lived, given that he was assessed as being only a couple of days away from death when they first diagnosed his condition. Perhaps the special latihans he requested helped him to live his remaining days as fully as possible. According to my latihan experience the cause of his disease was entirely removed. However, a fundamental change in how his body produced its white blood cells had already been made, and the latihans did not reverse it. The demon was tormented and banished, so it got no satisfaction. Leukemia was, though, the means by which this brother’s earthly life ended and his new life began. He is in a very good place now - I have been privileged to know this for certain. Interestingly the cancer specialists who treated him in hospital readily admit to having no idea what causes this kind of cancer. Maybe they won’t ever find out. ----- --Reasssurance In a dream a huge being {the size of a mountain} came up to me and said, "You don't have to worry, you will take your children up three rungs on the ladder. Then he gave me a beautiful smile and left. In another dream, I was standing outside my house looking up at the night sky when two beings appeared in the sky. They were wearing crowns, and I knew they were not of this earth. They seemed to be husband and wife. The male waved and I thought, who is he waving atand looked behind me. Then when I looked up again he nudged his wife and they were both smiling and waving at me. I waved back, it just seemed so natural and loving. - - - - - An Opportunity Some years ago I was flying on an internal flight in the U.S. and reading one of David Hawkins's wonderful books. Sitting next to me was a youngish woman, and I suddenly received, "She has the same book at home." I immediately put the book down, cover upwards and angled towards her. Sure enough, she soon spotted the title and said to me, "I have the same book at home." I replied, "I know," whereupon a lively conversation ensued, in which I was able to tell her about Subud. The rest of the journey just flew by - pun intended. - - - - - |
On Asking During a difficult time in my life, I became acutely aware that my soul needed ‘something creative’ in my everyday life - a creative activity that would absorb me totally and use all of my natural gifts. I was highly aware of this need and I was open to any and all suggestions. The stress I was experiencing on a daily basis was intense; I was starting to feel like the cartoon character Casper the ghost. I could see myself dissolving away from my body; rather an emergency situation to find oneself in, I'd say. Yes, a creative activity would be just the thing for my own self. But where to begin? I hadn't the slightest idea what this creative activity could be. It was time for action and I needed results. Real, lasting results. In the past I had had good fortune with asking. This seemed the only sure way for me to solve the problem of what to do to regain my sense of inner balance. My normal mental process of accepting or eliminating activities as they made themselves known was too problematic at that point in my life. And that method of finding a solution wasn’t entirely trustworthy, especially during this difficult time. I was not in the mood for ‘trial and error’. Besides, with my analytical mind, I could think of a myriad of excuses why either this or that activity wasn’t a ‘fit’ or, worse still, I could end up choosing an activity that was inappropriate for my nature. Having been in Subud for 24 years at the time, I had learned enough through the latihan to avoid asking for something specific, like painting or playing a musical instrument. Leave the door as open as possible, I told myself. Trust. Letting God do it for me was a sure way to success. As it turned out, I was absolutely right! Once again my instinct had served me well. I did the only thing I knew, I asked. I had gained some experience of how the process of the latihan worked and being attentive to the subtleties given is a major ingredient. If I was ‘asleep’ to inner musings, recognizing a gift could be easily overlooked or even ignored. The signs are often inconspicuous. My asking was quiet, gentle and unrushed. I never concerned myself with how long this process would take for an 'answer' to arrive. I completely trusted that the result would be a perfect fit for my individuality - my God-given gifts and my nature. And yes, I was willing to do whatever was revealed to me. After all, I was asking for a need to be filled. This wasn't a wish to satisfy my ego. I had unshakeable confidence that I would be shown and shown very clearly the kind of creative pursuit I was to engage in. So I asked God, "May I have something creative". Using prayer, I asked on a somewhat regular basis for about six weeks. I felt no need to rush nor did I feel anxiety – I possessed absolute confidence that I would be shown the appropriate creative outlet. All I needed to do was to continue my prayer and wait. Nothing else was required. ********************* Living in Sydney was magic as the weather was usually warm. Even on chilly winter mornings, I could always count on a table drenched in bright, delicious sunshine at my favorite outdoor café. This bit of time to myself on Saturday mornings was sheer heaven, made doubly glorious by the warmth of the morning sun. One Saturday morning in June 1989, with the winter sun on my face and having finished my standard breakfast of grilled cheese and tomato on toast, I decided to take a walk. I was happy and in an exploring mood. I was looking for treasures. Where to go, I thought? It was still a bit early and not all the shops were open. As I glanced around, I noticed several people going into the bookstore across the road. At this early hour what was the reason for the increase in shoppers, I wondered? Ahhh, Then I saw a ‘Sale’ sign in the bookstore’s window. I always loved bookstores. There is something indefinable about the atmosphere in small neighborhood book shops. Remembering my treasured Saturday morning with myself, I followed my inner beckoning and crossed the road. After walking around the bookstore’s ground floor and finding nothing that really interested me, I decided to look at the sale books upstairs. I climbed the steep staircase of what was obviously once a family home. This was revealed by the unmistakable layout of rooms; there was even a large bathroom with the clawed foot bathtub under the window. Exploring two of the tiny rooms at the top of the stairs, I slowly and deliberately went from book table to book table hoping I would find one or even several books that would be interesting. My one criterion was a book to absorb my attention and quiet my busy mind of worries. I was yearning for inspiration, but what this inspiration was eluded me. Knowing I would find the book I needed, I just kept looking at titles. On one of the sale tables I saw a book by U. K. designers Sylvia Cosh and James Waters - both famous internationally in the world of creative crochet. The cover photo was of one of their glorious coat designs - resplendent in rich autumn colours of teal blue, rich forest green, vibrant terracotta, rust, bronze, ocher and a deep blue gray. The blue gray was the anchor that tied all the other colours into one delicious palette. The beauty of those colors was nothing short of hypnotic. Color was my opium! I was entranced! In an instant, I knew this was it. My prayer for something creative had been answered. I can do THAT, I thought. The familiar feeling of profound latihan satisfaction accompanied the words. Without hesitation, I purchased the book. The first phase in asking for something creativewas now complete. Putting this gift into practice was the next step. With full confidence and a sense of adventure I set out. I did what I normally do; I started connecting the dots. As I watched the threads of my thinking come together, I realized the exquisite perfection of this gift. I could not have thought of this pursuit with my mind. So perfect was the fit with my personal attributes; I became overwhelmed with gratitude. Real gratitude. I stood at the book table bathed in its warmth - the kind that brings tears to your eyes causing you to realize who’s really in charge – and that it isn’t you. God doesn't make mistakes. In addition to my love of colour, I realized that the gift I was given fit perfectly with other essential parts of my nature. There are five.
I purchased the book and later that day the prescribed amount of yarn. Then, that afternoon, I got started. There was a song in my heart. I felt soooo fortunate! I wasn't abandoned after all. Once again I was reminded, all I need to do is listen, accept and then follow. If I needed confirmation, I certainly got it. Like most unexpected gifts, there is usually more to it than is immediately obvious. And, yes, there was more to it, as I quickly discovered. During the construction process of my new coat, I found all kinds of technical hurdles to solve. Each yarn had different properties; mohair needed a carrying yarn to give it stability, using coloured ribbons made the rows tighter which caused the rows to look shorter, metal crochet hooks behaved quite differently than rounded plastic hooks. And although some 20 years earlier I had learned the American method of crochet, the instructions for this magnificent coat used the English method - a very different set of instructions to follow. I was constantly moving between right and left-brain thinking and although intensely satisfying, this 'toing and froing' was mentally exhausting. Giving up wasn’t an option. If I allowed myself to be defeated by the sometimes overwhelming technical obstacles I was presented with, this would be akin to denying a precious gift. Working out the technical hurdles was a challenge, yet, after all, the problem solving aspect of creating and making my own original designs was part of the gift. I discovered that solving problems contributed a great deal to a deep inner satisfaction. I could get ‘lost’ in the feeling of the latihan while creating a new garment. Years ago in New York a Subud sister said, “The knowing is in the doing.” How right she was! - - - - - |