I have seen blue lights and lights of many colours over the years since being opened. I now accept this as a part of my regular life.
Very often the blue ones occur when people are talking, usually to the left or right and sometimes above them. I have also seen these as quite large swirling movements. I have periods when I see them more, also when people are being sincere I believe.
I could write a lot more on the lights from black to white.
Sudarto answered my questions on this many years ago, in1974: seeing coloured lights is seeing your own passions [lower forces]; of course this is good because some passions are very high. An informative piece of spiritual knowledge, not to be built up to more than it is - `God’s gift and a sign for us privately' - it does not make one a special person or a seer. It’s like being given a tool of the kedjiwaan.
He also told me that if you seeing bright spot of white light while reading, it was a sign that what was written was true - true words from God, from the kedjiwaan (the spiritual). He gave the example of when reading the Koran. I have experienced this many times over the years, even around someone’s mouth while talking.
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Interestingly, I did have a similar experience of being conscious within a large space of blue light that absolutely stilled my being. I could see this world through it, but this was over one year before Subud and came about while I was reading Ouspensky's ‘In Search of the Miraculous,’ at a time when I'd done no work at all before.
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The stories about seeing lights over people’s heads reminds me of one of the minor miracles associated with Saint Margaret of Hungary, the one after whom the Margitsziget is named - a long narrow island in the middle of the Danube in Budapest – and about whom I am currently writing a book. It was reported by sisters from her cloister that flames would appear above her head when she prayed. The report is fully credible and Saint Margaret seemed to have been unaware of the fire while she was praying - she actually got scared when told about it. When she died her face again became very beautiful and a strange light was seen on it - perceptible to all onlookers. The Archbishop of Esztergom, who conducted the funeral, said to the nuns: "Sisters, you do need not weep - you can already see on her face the light of the Resurrection." (Recorded in the acts of the canonisation process).
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I remember when I was in my 'unconscious' crisis state that I sort of regained semi-consciousness one night for a short time, and saw that my two Subud 'carers' for the night, plus my son in law, were all talking together, joined by shafts of light.
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A man I know went to Wisma Subud (the Subud compound in Jakarta) for Ramadan. When he returned a number of weeks later I saw him enter the latihan hall. He had a small white light about six inches over his head. The next latihan, a few days later, the light was gone.
Another time a fellow was testing about a pain in his abdomen. What I saw was a small white light in this member’s brain. Had no idea what to do about the pain however or what connection it had with the white light.
After my first attendance of an applicant's meeting, when riding in my friend's car as he took his lady friend home, she got out of the car and started up a path to her apartment. As she did this I saw a large white aura behind her head. One thing I knew was that Subud was for me.
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One Sunday during service I received a vision of a golden rope interconnecting five of us: the Revd Ed, myself and three others. It was about ¾” in diameter, of brilliant translucent gold with sparkling flecks coming off it. Dazzling ! ( A Subud friend of mine from Carmel Valley had a similar experience while in Salt Lake City during a visit to the Mormon tabernacle to hear the Choir sing. That’s when he saw a golden rope which connected to about 100 or more people including himself .)
One night in 1970 on my first trip to the International Subud Center in Java I had been sitting on a concrete floor for two hours, with just a thin bamboo mat for padding. Perhaps Bapak took pity on me when he looked straight at me because I saw a triangle in gold, blue and hot pink - all with the characteristic clear colors and sparkles.
Later, at a meeting with Bapak in Santa Monica, the golden rope appeared between a long time member, (a movie star) and myself. She was sitting a few rows in front of me. She immediately turned around and looked right at me. The rope had gone between us at the level of our hearts.
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One night after latihan I went to the small kitchen at the back of our hall to get a cup of coffee for an old friend of mine, then in her mid-eighties. After I had filled a cup with coffee, I looked around for her. I saw her momentarily, and then she disappeared. When next I saw her, she was one of a procession of saintly women moving in prayerful worship towards a place of great holiness. They were dressed in full-length gowns of shining white.
The vision lasted but a moment or two, and then she reappeared. I told her about my experience, and she laughingly dismissed it.
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Several Subud members have experienced having problems with their teeth in relation to the death of someone they know. (Obviously, this is not for a moment to suggest that every time we have teeth problems, someone is going to die!) Many people have had dreams of teeth falling out as a prelude to someone they knew dying. I know that in some Asian countries – e.g., Indonesia and Japan, Russia too apparently - people traditionally believe that there is a relationship between the teeth and imminent death. As it happens, not long before Bapak died several Subud-members dreamed about a tooth falling out, and one of Bapak's granddaughters had problems with her teeth and needed an operation.
For many years it has been quite normal for me to dream about teeth falling out, usually a few months before the death of someone I know. I found that when the same dream repeats itself on two consecutive nights, it usually means that someone will die soon, maybe within a couple of days or sometimes within one or two weeks. It can also mean that more than one person will die, one soon after another. I've noticed that it doesn't seem to matter whether I feel close to this person; "knowing someone" seems to be enough.
Some years ago I had a problem with a molar and my dentist had told me that sooner or later it needed to be extracted. After some time the tooth became more and more painful and I decided to make an appointment to have it pulled out. Immediately after I'd phoned the dentist and booked the appointment, I started to feel really uncomfortable and I seemed to be getting the message that the appointment was on the wrong day. Like so many of us who have been following the latihan for a long time, I've got used to these messages that my inner sometimes sends me and I've learned to listen to them.
I phoned the dentist again and booked another appointment. Strangely enough, again, I felt uncomfortable, and I seemed to feel that it was the wrong day. I was quiet for a while and tried to feel what I should do. Then I seemed to be getting the message that it was right to have the tooth removed but that the date and time on which this was going to happen was really important. So I decided to phone the dentist yet again (and apologise!) and try to "feel" which of the dates and times that the secretary suggested, felt right and to come up with excuses for the ones that didn't. Thursday 2pm, roughly a week later seemed to feel good, so I was booked in. This time I felt peaceful afterwards.
A week later I was at the dentist and, after settling me in the dentist's chair, he then disappeared into another room and left me alone for about eight minutes. As soon as he'd left, a feeling of blessing came over me and I felt the latihan strongly. Inside me I went 'Alah, Allah, Alllah'. Then, I heard myself say inside 'All is well, all is well.' I felt a deep inner peace, but at the same time I was worried about the meaning of all this. I actually began to wonder if I was about to die. Then it all stopped and I felt normal again, whereupon the dentist came back into the room. To his surprise, the tooth came out quite easily, and he said that he'd booked me in for a full hour because he'd thought that this molar was going to cause a lot of trouble. He'd even considered sending me to a dental surgeon for it. No way had he expected it to pop out so easily.
I went home - I was living in Australia at the time - and that evening my mother phoned me from Holland. She told me that my sister, who had been ill, had died that very day. When I asked her what time she'd passed away, it appeared that it was while I was at the dentist.
Although I don't really understand much about this relation between teeth and dying, my feeling was that having my tooth extracted at this particular time had somehow helped my sister, had made it easier for her to die in a peaceful way. Needless to say, I feel very grateful that I was able to help my sister die, while living at the other side of the world.
Coincidentally (?), never having heard of this phenomenon before, on the very same day I received the above contribution, I found myself reading the following passage from 'In the Mystic Footsteps of Saints' by Sheikh Nazim Haqqani:
‘Once a king dreamt that all his teeth had fallen out. He was disturbed by this dream, so he called for a man who interpreted dreams. The interpreter listened to the dream, then he told him, “Oh my king, all of your relatives are going to die before you.”’
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