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Pilgrimage
By Dachlan Cartright Regarding the article on Parousia in the last edition of Reminders of Realty, I heard that Bapak had admitted that he was the Mahdi, the messianic figure who will work together with Jesus at his Second Coming during these latter days. This took place in Mexico, and all those Subud members who were present were in ecstatic tears. Here are some extracts from Bus to Mecca, my account of the Haj in 1980, which was published in Subud News June/July 1985. "Next to the Prophet’s Tomb is an empty space, which awaits, I was told, Jesus after his second mission. (Muslims, like Christians, believe Jesus will come again.)" "I realize that other Subud members on the Haj have seen angels and visions. I didn’t experience this, but there were two events which were, if not miraculous, remarkable. One of our young Bangladeshi brothers, Ahmed, became separated from us in the Haram. He was last seen heading for the Black Stone, and soon after this a body was seen being carried out from near the Kaaba. He didn’t turn up when we got to the bus park, and we had to move on to Arafat. There is no “missing persons” or “lost and found” tent, and the difficulty of finding someone among a million identically dressed pilgrims can be imagined. It was his first time in Mecca, and he didn’t have much money. Alhamdulillah he spotted us on the road to Mina three days afterwards. The lost sheep had returned. The second event took place after we had completed the maghreb and ishaa prayers at Medina on the way back, thereby fulfilling all the obligatory and recommended rites of the pilgrimage. Over the bus park, a sweet and gentle rain fell. Meteorologically, in the climate of Saudi Arabia, it was very strange. Spiritually, it was surely God’s blessing on our Haj." - - - - - Recent Dreams By Anonymous I returned (only just..) from New Zealand at the end of March. A fantastic trip with latihans in Christchurch with, among many others, Hammond and Renata Peek who were wonderful hosts. Within a week of returning I developed 'symptoms' although not the main reported symptoms but shortness of breath and feeling rather 'odd' was palpable. It was a scary two weeks constantly wondering 'had I got it or not?' in the absence of a test. Doc Morrisey seemed to think I probably had picked it up bearing in mind my recent international travel (vis Honkers) until one night I had a dream. I was on a street and could hear a baby crying. The crying was coming from within a public trash bin. I then noticed the bin had a section cut out of the bottom from which I could see inside a raging fire. I rushed over and started to pour water into the bin to extinguish the fire and then tipped the bin on its side and the baby rolled out onto the pavement. I picked up the baby still alive and held it so tight to my chest. and boy did that feel good! The following morning when I woke I noticed that the unwellness I had been feeling for two weeks had gone. However, a tight chest and tiredness still persisted for a further week or more and it was difficult for me to ignore it. Thoughts of 'what if it comes back' etc fuelled my anxiety. Then another dream came to me where I was walking along a dirt road and upon looking over to my left I saw the most amazing scene. High red and cream stripped sand stones cliffs provided the back-drop to a beautiful blue lake surrounded by lush trees, flowers and vegetation. Animals, necks dipped were drinking at the lake edge and birds were flying all around. Wow! I thought, that must be heaven. The colours were so vibrant and 'real' so I decided I would take some photographs on my iPhone (as you do these days). But upon stepping forwards to get a closer view I lost my footing and slid off the side of the road down a steep bank into the road-side ditch. It must have been 8ft or so back up onto the road and however hard I tried I just couldn't climb back up because the bright white sand on the side of the bank would erode with every step and I simply slipped back down again. I stopped and looked along the ditch and bank but could see no way back up onto the road. Until all of a sudden a tuft of green grass and a grey rock appeared at the top of the bank that I could just reach and use to pull myself back up onto the dirt road. I felt relieved to say the least. I knew then that Heaven was there just over the way all the time. Not that far. But it was not my time to go there. (yet). - - - - - Straight As An Arrow By Robert Goonetilleke None other than Ichsan Ahmed's only offspring once said, "I searched the web for information about my father but found little or nothing." This is amazingly true, albeit with one exception in that Varindra Vittachi mentions Ichsan in his early documentation of Subud and the latihan. It is strange that this person, who played such a vital role in the spread of Subud in the early years, 1957-1958, opening thousands, is almost missing from the record. I am trying to fill this void. If there are omissions, I ask readers to please forgive me. I am including what I knew and what I heard first hand from people like Ronald & Rosetta Jayatilaka, Varindra Vittachi, Rusely Sideek, Ravindra Weerakoon and Laman Goonetilleke. I had a glimpse of Ichsan when I first visited the Subud house at Torrington Place in March 1958, only to meet Laman, my maths teacher in high school. He was surprised to see me and promptly asked, "What are you doing here?" At a loss for words, I echoed his question, "What are you doing here, Sir?" Then we laughed and laughed as we both saw the humor of the situation. However, I well remember the first person I met that day. It was a good omen. In my article, The Year of Grace, published sometime in 2003, I mentioned many things I gleaned from Lamaan, Ronald & Rosetta Jayatilaka and others. On BYM's (Bapak) visit to Ceylon in mid-October he was accompanied by Siti Rahayu, Siti Yati and Indira, who was a very young child, with Ichsan as interpreter. I rely on my memory of the glorious forty days that followed. As I came to realise later, Ichsan, like Bapak, did not look like a typical Indonesian. He looked bigger, more strongly built and was no doubt a very strong person. There was always the shadow of a smile on his face, and he could easily break out into genuine laughter. I believe someone later called him the ‘Laughing Saint.’ If he got serious it showed immediately, but he would lighten up quickly. What was obvious even then was his sincerity and dedication to Subud. His dedication to BYM was something else, which must have come from knowing who BYM was from his inner self. His often repeated the words, "It's not me, it's Bapak," or, "It's the wahayu." (about which we were clueless at that time). Today, sixty plus years later, the meaning of those words has clarity. When BYM or Ibu Rahayu sends one on a mission, it comes with a grace, and those who have experienced it will know what I am talking about. If Almighty God wills it. anyone can receive this grace. For a man who could not have had much time for formal schooling – by all accounts he was a formidable guerrilla fighter even as a young man - Icksan was wise in the ways of men and women, and this must have come from an inner understanding or guidance from the latihan. He had to be wise, as Ronald & Rosetta mentioned, because he never took sides during his first two visits, though many a petty issue surfaced. The nafsu, as we know it today, was having a field day. Ichsan was a very normal person and behaved as such. He didn't put on spiritual airs, "Anyone who can enjoy a cold beer and a cowboy movie is my kind of dude!" he was fond of saying. Ronald Jayatilaka and Rusely (Rusli?) Sideek and others shared some fascinating stories with me. During his first visit to San Francisco, for example, Ichsan was taken to the Golden Gate Bridge by some Subud members. He apparently started counting: “One, two three . . . “ Using his inner vision he could see the people who had jumped off the bridge! Ichsan had shared this story with Ronald while drinking a beer at Ronald’s home. According to Sideek and other members who visited Trincomalee with Ichsan, he did the same thing at a place near the beautiful Trincomalee natural harbor on the east coast of Sri Lanka. With his hand movement he followed the leap of many who had jumped from this place and taken their lives. The history of this pace is fascinating and tragic. Legend has it that during the Dutch era, a beautiful Dutch lass ended her life by jumping off the cliff into the bay. It is fenced off by barbed wire today to prevent access to what is known as "lovers leap point." There were two sayings of Ichsan's that still linger in my memory: "Do not get serious about the latihan; God might not take you seriously," and, "Before God - nothing." Yes, if we get serious about the latihan it can block the very ability to receive it. We can value it and respect it, but not get serious about it. As to the second saying, we cannot have any conditions, images or anything before God: no spouse or child, no guru - just and empty void. The world's great religions teach us to love God more than ourselves, to surrender totally, standing naked before the power of God. I think Ichsan understood all of this clearly, but his limited command of the English language was obvious. Yet he got through sooner or later. As Bapak’s helper, he set a benchmark we can only dream of. No wonder BYM said in the talk he gave in Ceylon on Icksan's last birthday in 1958, "His path to God was straight as an arrow." P.S. I wanted to add this for historical/archival reasons. Not all of the talks Bapak gave in 1958 were recorded. In fact, he gave a short talk on arrival to all those who had gathered at the Subud House, and he gave a very long talk that evening. Although I did my best with a used Japanese recorder later on, only Rusli Sideek could figure out how to use it. We missed recording many of those valuable talks. - - - - - |
Encounters with those who have gone before
By Anonymous In my experience, those touched by the Latihan who have passed away appear as in the prime of life, and with visage aglow. By contrast the two strays (non members) that came to me uninvited at different times were both old and ‘stuck,’ although one of them seemed aware that his daughter was about to ring me! He suddenly appeared in front of me when I was sitting in my room, whilst working in Tahiti, and stood there waving his index finger up and down in a classic admonishing gesture while saying something in a very assertive manner which I missed, as I could only see him but not hear him. He was a an old Chinese man. As he spoke I saw he was missing the front top 4 teeth. Then he disappeared. I was wondering ‘what was that all about’ when suddenly the phone rang. It was his daughter inviting me to her house, but I declined as I knew her husband was away. Later when I did go (at the invitation of her husband), I saw the same man who had wagged his finger at me looking out from a wedding photograph, with his Tahitian bride. Both appeared in their early 20s. I asked her ‘Is that your parents?’ She said, ‘Yes, my father was very handsome then but later he lost his front teeth. That’s what happens when they smoke opium’. My own father had a main front tooth that was slightly off line, evident in many old photographs before he had upper dentures. Yet during my memory of him, he had only the dentures. He died at 82, and when I met him after his death he was 35 or 40ish, with the original upper teeth and a head full of hair! And I have met other Subud members after death who appear as in the prime of life. So there is another benefit of doing the Latihan! A Subud friend of mine was walking down the street (in real life, not a dream) and he saw four men coming towards him spread across the pavement. So he stepped aside to let them past. They stopped to talk with him and he suddenly recognised them as four deceased members he had known. He said he did not recognise them at first as they were all so much younger, about 30-40, and all wearing suits! They told him that itwas very good where they were, and you could just go and get a new suit for no cost. (This amused us because my friend has a reputation for being a tad tight-fisted. Ha ha) - - - - - Reversed Prayers By Dachlan Cartwright In the previous Reminders of Reality there was an item by Valentine Harvey, in which he recounts an experience near a level crossing in Canada, when he was moved to pray to God, and afterwards found out that just before there had been a terrible accident at the level crossing when many schoolchildren had been killed. For me it connected with a passage in a novel by James Lee Burke, where his protagonist, the Cajun detective Robicheaux, a former alcoholic but a deeply religious man, states his belief that is possible to pray, “retroactively”, so that the suffering of victims in the past may be eased. The following sonnet I wrote for Marsinah, a workers rights activist in East Java who was brutally assaulted and murdered by thugs in the military. I sent it to JLB, who called me “noble mon”, an epithet which, whether deserved or not, I cherish. Geoffrey Armes, in the FB group For Subud Members Only, has recounted a similar experience he had when contemplating wartime Berlin. FOR MARSINAH They drip from under septic stones gestaptoed To slime their crimes while midnight chimes a curfew, Jackbooted beavis, butthead, gauntlets wanking new, Stalagtites stale as Stalin, fresh as Gitmo. Assuming watchdogs’ night alarms are faulty They squirt their abscess in the face of helplessness, Choking the threshing holds of the defenceless To get their kicks and wet their dicks on cruelty. And dare they think God draws the curfew’s curtains While angels peep in terror from the shutters? Plus now the internet’s a searchlight hurting To track the dirt of blackshirts in the gutters. And for Marsinah, let’s hurl prayers reversed To palliate her pain-racked universe. - - - - - Dreams of Bapak By Lucas Horton I have now had three important dreams where I was interacting with Bapak Muhamad Subuh Sumohadiwidjojo, the founder of Subud. The first two dreams were back in the 1970’s and early 80’s, each one was very clear, meaningful and useful, where I was being taught some things that have become a core part of how I view this life, this world. I will write about them some other time. The third and most recent dream was on the 21st night of Ramadan in 2020 and it was certainly as much, if not more, meaningful than the first two. The dream went like this. I, and many other Subud members were attending some sort of Subud meeting/plenary meeting when Bapak turned up on stage, and it was clear he had been away for a fairly long time and it was as if he had been called back, somewhat to his own surprise, and it was clear that he had not been keeping an eye on us. He said, ‘Where is everybody? Next he said ‘Why isn’t anybody doing anything? No-one is having any adventures’. Then he turned to me and asked me my name, Lucas I said Well Lucas, I can see that you and your friends have received about 60% of what I have received and now I want you to invent something. Eh Yes, Bapak I want you to invent ‘Arrowism’. You are the arrow. Find something that needs to be done, something that needs to be achieved that needs you and your friends to work together. Do some project where you can have an adventure. That is the target. You are the arrow. That was the end of the dream. Since then I have been wondering about the meaning of the dream for me, apart from the obvious. At its heart for me it about the difference between being and doing. Its all very well developing spiritually, but you also need to engage in doing something useful in the physical universe of our lives. My impression of attending Bapak’s talks in person was that he would start off his talks with ‘Brothers and sisters of the spiritual brotherhood of Subud…… and he would end his talks with….. and that is the importance of Enterprises. This is what originally attracted me to Subud. That on the one side there were no intermediaries, no gurus no teaching just a direct contact with the Power of God, and on the other side he was talking to people who prefer doing to being, or at least were as comfortable doing stuff as being. I thought that Subud was for optimistic people, entrepreneurs, creative people who wanted to participate in changing the world, not just perfecting themselves spiritually. That is still how I feel today even though this element seems to have long since disappeared from Subud. In my experience everything in dreams means something, so let’s go through them in detail. Firstly Bapak was surprised about having been called back and his first impression was that there were fewer Subud members around than he had expected. He expected a lot more people to be around and for members to be a lot more active. The question about having adventures is interesting and is a different story to Enterprises. ‘Having adventures’ is something more basic to the human experience than creating or ‘doing enterprises’. Having an adventure is about trying something new, something challenging, and fundamentally it should be fun even if it is also a little bit scary! Imagine that, having fun doing stuff in the world. The way to heaven! The 60% is interesting and it was very specific. 60% is more than half way, but way below the full potential. It occurs to me that it implies that only after we have been through a certain amount of purification that we can do the stuff that needs to be done. Maybe it is only now after 50 years of spiritual experience, 50 years of life experience that we can understand the need to being active in the world, and to have fun doing it. We can do this, but we have to work from different place. That is certainly the case with me. At 71, I have a different type of energy than I had when I was 21. I don’t think it is less, it’s just a bit more focussed, a bit more tempered with experience. Now when I consider a course of action, there is a ‘taste of reality’ that guides me one way rather than another. I don’t have it all the time and I am not saying that I am infalable. In fact I am just as prone to error as I ever was, it’s just that sometimes when I do something it feels ‘easy’. This is because I have a talent for it or have honed a skill for it over the years. Having said that I am also aware that I can still avoid doing things, I can shirk things and put off doing stuff and I have recently understood something about how we have to be to get things done which involves overcoming difficulties. There is a tendency that I feel when facing problems outside and negativity inside that I get pushed off track, I turn my face away from the problem. This, I now recognise as ‘leaning out’. The metaphor is that the wind blows me over away from my objective. In this instance I have come to understand that when faced with difficulties, I need to ‘lean in’ to the problem, I need to lean in to the difficulty. In the process we face our fears and realise that maybe what we thought was a problem with a factor 10 was only a problem factor 5 if we hunker down and face the problem. Some say it is facing the shadow inside each of us. This is the whole point of trying to do something in the world. It is only when we try to achieve something in the outside world that we come face to face with what is inside each of us. We find what the obstacles and dark spots we have in our character. These are blind spots that we hide from ourselves. It’s by engaging in an outer project that these inner difficulties get exposed. It’s painful, but it is necessary in the way that just following a spiritual practice without outer action cannot and does not achieve. The other aspect of the dream was that we should try to do stuff with our friends. Each of us have some spark, or collection of sparks, but we don’t have it all, no-one does. Working with other people means that we have to come to respect each other, listen to each other. We have to find the common ground and move forward together. We can only do that when we have been through something together, shared something important together, actually to have shared our pain together. Lastly, ‘Arrowism’ although a little difficult to say, being the Arrow does sum up how we need to be if we want to achieve something. So ‘be the arrow’ - - - - - |