In The Presence of God
I was interested to read the story of the man who was able to see a blue light over people’s heads, and could also see a large shaft of blue light emerging from one of the Subud houses – see page 2 at www.remindersofreality.weebly.com.
For many years now, whenever I'm able to get in a really quiet state were the mind is still, I see a violet/ blue light. Also in Latihan when I reach that same place of stillness, the blue light will appear in the inner eye (my outer eyes being closed). This is when I feel a deep sense of being in the presence of God.
- - - - -
My Future Wife
Many years ago a Subud brother told me that I would know my future wife because she would see a blue light around my head. I thought that was a very funny concept and laughed it off, as one does. But one day I arrived at the house of a woman and she looked at me very taken aback, saying: "Why have you got a blue light around your head?" I explained that I had no idea there was a blue light around my head but that it was an indication, someone had told me, that my future wife had recognised me. We married some time later.
- - - - -
The Angels Are Coming
For some time I have been experiencing flashes of a bright, shining light out of the corner of my left eye, which I had begun to be concerned might herald the onset of a vision problem. But Bapak describes this perfectly in the following quote (recently shared with me by a brother), and it was a great comfort to read what he says. Without the talks of Bapak, these precious insights would be lost to us.
Also, several times a day I find myself calling out to the angels and often receive, in a loud voice of grateful anticipation: ‘The angels are coming.’ At such times, I spontaneously thank God over and over again and sometimes feel that I could dissolve in inner joy.
Maybe you would like to ask Bapak, "What is an Angel?" Later you will know. If you go on with the latihan you will find out. . . .
It is the angels who are the organizers of everything that God has created. And little by little you will learn to see them. Maybe you have the experience sometimes of seeing a flash of light from the corner of your eye: that is the movement of an angel. It is like a small lightning flash. Of course, the devils can also do that, but the color is different: the devils have a reddish color when they move. 84 CDK 11
- - - - -
The Family of Angels
‘For quite a long time I have been seeing flashing bright lights, and somehow always knew they were caused by angels. My little five-year old also sees them. She sees "the big yellow one", that is supposed to be Archangel Michael, and "small green ones" that are healing angels, and also guardian angels "that are the tiniest, no bigger than a thumb". :-)
Whenever I am worried or scared, I call upon Michael and I simply forget my worries and quickly become peaceful; when I feel unwell, I turn to Archangel Raphael, the great healer, and soon feel better or even completely relieved. I often ask for the protection or guidance of my guardian angels, especially when it is important to find the right words with someone, or for a positive outcome of a problematic situation, or for protection from harmful energies. And for protecting and helping my child.
- - - - -
One Breath at a Time
In the summer of 2008 in Northern California, where I lived at the time, a series of wildfires produced so much thick smoke that many of us could not leave our homes for other than brief periods. My body began to fail and I landed in the emergency room again and again. I have been fortunate to have good medical care, but this time they were stumped. Modern science had saved my life again but I was sent home with little hope because they just could not find out the cause of my progressive collapse. My doctor thought I had ALS, the degenerative neurological disease for which there is no cure. After a few months, however, testing showed that I did not have ALS.
At home one night, deep in pain and anguish, and on a fair amount of medication, I struggled to find the peace of sleep. Inwardly I did not think I was going to die but my body was telling me otherwise. I just accepted where I was at and surrendered. Slowly the pain decreased and I felt my spirit lifted into what I can only describe as a dazzle of kindness, reflecting images of kindness received and given, so fast that it melted my pain and anguish. Beyond this I felt a powerful, magnetic like force that was drawing me into Itself.
Then I became aware of my heartbeat, with the memory of the huge force that is our destination after leaving this world. A fragment of this place came into me and into my consciousness. I instinctively felt as though this would be enough for me to continue to live on here in this world. It was not time to die.
For a few years I did not return to the hospital, although I am by no means completely healthy. I still hobble around with a lot of limitations. Yet I have been graced with just enough human companionship from a few friends and neighbors, some great healers in traditional western medicine and holistic therapies, the comfort of nature and a joyful companion dog. My mental functions are returning and as long as I listen to my body and rest frequently the physical pain is kept in check. As for what the future holds, I have no idea – I take one breath at a time, allowing life to unfold.
- - - - -
The Most Important Test
When I watched the recent movie covering the Puebla World Congress (https://vimeo.com/108874621 - Password : Puebla), I recalled that in one of the kejiwaan morning sessions, a small group of us were asking to receive what Ibu has said is the most important test:
'Experience the "I" that existed before you came into this world and the "I" which will exist after you leave this world.'
Each time I have received an answer to this test - in different places and times - it has been a different answer – always expanding my awareness.
Part of what I received in answer to the test question in Puebla was a sense of immensity - of billions of years - and part of that existing as something in non-human form - rather like waves of essential being or essential atoms spread out in infinity. Of course, I am lacking words or understanding about what this REALLY was.
But later in the evening there was a performance by SICA at the theatre - the Conversations in Music performance and you can see it in the movie... on the curtain used as a backdrop at one point there is a sort of spherical or oval shape designed as made of waves - and somehow this carried the very feeling of what I had experienced in the latihan - so that I thought that it was a place or state of existence that someone else in Subud has visited and painted.
- - - - -
The moment I heard the word "Subud" I knew that this is what I had been looking for all my life. I could never think of any questions to ask the helpers so we talked about what was going on in my life and other things and that was fine.
One Helper-Applicant night at the hall, members started to come out of the latihan hall and come into the room where we were seated, and I saw a white light surrounding a young man and it confirmed for me that Subud really was what I had been searching for.
It felt like Home.
- - - - -
Struck by Lightning
I just read about a South American football player who was struck by lightning this weekend. He should have been dead. Instead, he said he felt 'reborn'. This reminds me of a colleague many years ago to whom this happened. He was going out fishing with his brother one day and, for some reason, when he was collecting his fishing gear in the garage, he was moved to put on an old fashioned thick, long, leather biker’s coat which had been there for years. He'd never worn it before. His brother made fun out of him, telling him he looked ridiculous, particularly since it was a nice sunny day.
While fishing he saw a small dark cloud approaching in the sky, getting closer and closer, until it stopped right above his head. He pointed it out to his brother, who said that he couldn't see anything at all. Suddenly, lightning struck from the cloud above and knocked him out. His brother called an ambulance and my colleague was in a coma for two days, during which time he had all sorts of spiritual experiences. The doctors told him that if he hadn't been wearing that long leather coat he would certainly have been dead.
He too felt 'reborn' and changed when he came around, and after some time realised that he could heal with his hands. This completely changed his life, he had never been interested in anything spiritual at all and used to be a very down to earth fellow who loved to go down to the pub for a pint with his mates. He gave up his job and became a full time healer.
I also know of both an ex-Subud member and the son of a Subud member who were struck by lightning and killed. What a way to go! I think Bapak said that the way we die is suited to us.
- - - - -